SUSPICION: A SUBTLE POISON IN RELATIONSHIPS

"SUSPICION: A SUBTLE POISON IN RELATIONSHIPS"
Our focal text is from Ecclesiastes 7:21-22 NCV
"Don’t listen to everything people say, or you might hear your servant insulting you. You know that many times you have insulted others." 

What does it mean to be suspicious?
The act of suspecting something or someone, especially of something wrong.
That's a simple way to define it according to the English dictionary.

One of the dangers of suspicion is that it breeds distrust. And you see, whoever you cannot trust; you cannot love, live with, lean on, deal with, partner with and even talk with.

Our focus isn't on marriage alone tonight, but affects all relationships - business, family, marriage, and all.

The moment you begin to have a doubt about what someone says, suspicion has set in. There must have been a reason to doubt them.

Suspicion comes from the word 'suspect' which means To IMAGINE or SUPPOSE (something) to be true, or to exist, WITHOUT PROOF.

You see, every suspicion is a product of imagination.

Many of the things we suspect people about are things we've once done to someone.

 You imagine someone is lying because you might lie if you were to be in the same shoe.
I will briefly highlight some of the causes of suspicion before moving on
You suspect someone to have stolen because you might consider stealing if you were in the same shoe. You suppose someone to be untrustworthy because you do same. If you will agree with me. Everyone is a victim of suspicion - you either suspect someone or someone is suspecting you.

Causes of suspicion are the following but not limited to this list;

• Experience - if you have been unfaithful to people before, you are likely to be suspicious. For example, as a trader; if I have ever inflated the price of goods I'm selling in order to amass gain, perhaps done successfully, I have every tendency to suspect another trader when he calls to me the price of goods (particularly the one I have no idea of its cost)

• Fear - the world we live in is a hurting world, people get hurt on daily basis. Spouses hurts one another, parents hurts their children, teachers hurts their students, friends hurts friends; the list goes on like that...

Fear of what one has gone through may tempt one to be suspicious of a new person when we see a trace of what has ever happened.

•   Environment - I have heard of an area where the ladies from there were said to have tendency of going polyandry. Definitely, a man marrying from that area may be tempted to be suspicious when he sees his spouse moving too close to another man, he would not want to mind any relationship that may exist between them.. Same as women too. There's an area a friend once told me she can't marry from because many of the men from the area would either be drinking or be a womanizer. Definitely, suspicion will be their lifestyle.

Dangerous effect of suspicion also includes but not limited to the following;

1. Loneliness - you just want to be alone because you don't know who to rely on.
2. Distrust - you find it difficult to even trust people.
3. Fear - you are afraid of taking germane steps. Would it not be like the former. This applicable to people once jilted, duped and so on.
4. Wickedness - people who are victims of the experience tends to be tough to deal with because they may act wicked sometimes.

And so on.....

What's the solution so that our society will be rid of hurts or reduce its rate?
How can we make our world a lovely and trusted one?
Our focal text gave us an idea.
Here is our focal text, it says;
Don’t listen to everything people say, or you might hear your servant insulting you. You know that many times you have insulted others.
Ecclesiastes 7:21‭-‬22 NCV
There's a lot of difference between hearing and listening;
It is possible that I speak from afar and you heard my voice without necessarily paying attention.
If you heard me twice, the second hearing may be the reason why you now have to pay attention.
There are times when a speaker is delivering his speech, he says things like 'listen to me'; he simply want you to go beyond hearing him.

And the last time I checked my dictionary, listening means "an action that is performed with caution and attention to sounds." and hearing means A proceeding at which discussions are heard.
With the differences highlighted, the verse tells us to ignore every words..
Like the slang "don't mind him"

Not every rumor you'll give your mind to for rumination.

You hear some and discard it.

The moment you begin to mind words, several interpretations begin to flow into your heart and then, suggestions that are negative also comes in.

The last solution is personal..

Verse 22 says many times you have insulted others

By inference, you have lived in a way that made people suspect you before, now change.
Never give room for suspicion.

In business, be truthful, in relationship; clear every cloud of doubts.
The moment you are less vulnerable to be suspected, the more you begin to think everyone is as truthful as you are..

Let's make our world a trust-able one. Let's get rid of hurts and pains.
The problem is that, suspicion is just an imagination without proof.
Until you have a proof, let it end in your imagination without allowing it instigate you to act negatively.

©Joshua A. Adesina